In a rare display of emotion, God decided to punish the West, Midwest, and Southwest Heisman voters (along with everyone else) for their poor judgment and outright manipulation in this year's balloting.
This is believed to be one of the few times in recorded history God has intervened when one of "His boys" has been mistreated, the last being the extended rainstorm sent after homeboy Noah was constantly ridiculed as the Kingdom's Nuttiest Boat-Builder (unless you count that incident at the Red Sea, but there is speculation that was merely an urban legend).
Weather forecasters are predicting a shorter duration for this retaliation, but most agree the exact length won't be determined until the evening of January 8th. the theory is, if Sam Bradford sees his shadow--or anything else except the south Florida starry sky--there'll be 6 more years of winter.
Asked about the unusual weather, Shaun White is reported to have said, "Hey, dude, this is sick. The Big Guy must be a shredder, fer sure." Asked to elaborate, Mr. White was unable. He did, however, refer to the weather in Montana as "Snowbound 'tude, dude."
http://www.weather.com/outlook/recreation/ski/local/USMT0026?lwsa=Weather36HourSkiCommand&lswe=Big%20Sky,%20MT&from=searchbox_typeahead
In other news, Global Warming fanatics all across the country are turning in their Al Gore in 2016 buttons and cashing their carbon credits, saying "Damn, it's cold out. We musta screwed up somewheres."
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